Am I too young to take sleeping pills?
How does my life goes? Where does my life goes? Am I doing everything I can? Why I can't honor my deadlines? Why I can't speak with people I want? Why I have this all set letter text in my head but I can't speak it out? Why do I sleep all day long? Why I can't do things I want to do? Am I just a lazy person? Am I just a spoiled young woman who can't do things because I never needed? Am I lost? Am I wrong? Am I getting depressed or I'm just making this as a excuse not to get things done? Am I normal? Do I want to be normal? What I'm doing wrong? Should I take those depressions pills I've been refusing to? What do I do to get things going? Where are the strength and determination that I need? Do I really have to wait for those things to fall of the sky? Am I doing everything I can to reach my dreams? Am I doing the least I can? Why does life is so confusing sometimes? Why I can't heal? Will I ever heal? Will I ever be fully happy? Will I find my place is this world? Will I ever move from my parents house?
I really need someone I can talk and philosophy about those questions, I'm running crazy this days.
I guess I write because no one does really understand my inner questions. People want to take life easy and they don't want to be interrupted by this difficult painfully questions. People don't really want to hear others pain and deep feeling. Not even me. Because we don't know how to solve it. We don't know how to answer our own question, imagine other people ones.
Hello existencial crises, I hope you can leave me soon. I'm not feeling quite well having you around. I have things to finish. I have some late deadlines to honor. Give me a break won't you? I need money to survive, even living with my parents. Not sleeping right and not getting things done are not helping at all. Nor getting sick as well. How do I clean my mind?
So many unanswered questions... 3:40 a.m. I better try to sleep again. With some luck my false sleeping pills will make some difference now.
See you guys around. Kisses.
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